A juicy beef burger

There are many things to wonder about celebrities; what they do on a daily basis, what they like, what they don’t, how they work, why they do it. Often, particularly if said celebrity is a model or a visually striking human being, tabloids record their eating habits in minute detail. While talking about Metal, I never considered a gastronomic conversation to be very fruitful; after all, what to good Metalheads eat but meat, what do they drink but alcohol? (The exception is when there is absolutely no money, and every free meal comes as a gift from heaven).

The Bass Drop Deluxe a.k.a the 808Burger from Death Metal Baboon. It will take you "down for a week, shitting mighty solids."

Yet these details seem to remain in the Earthly realm of us lowly Metalheads (Though there are attempts to educate us in terms of Metal meals. Just look at Deamonstealer's Headbanger's Kitchen). After all, fame seems to create a picky personality. Indeed, great egos become demanding and particular. So as you rise through hall of fame, your taste will become more, say, delicate. Or sophisticated. Though I’d just call it vain, really. I would have thought that Metal Gods would be, as opposed to TV celebrities, fairly normal on their eating habits. Don’t we always see, in videos, our good friends drinking copious amounts of beer? And I remember seeing, somewhere, an image of Mustaine (or some other famous Metalhead) in a KFC.

Now we know why it happens.

But alas, I was deceived. In a Blabbermouth article, the guys Whitesnake have been revealed in their real personas; delicate princesses with a stomach made of silk. I really shouldn’t be surprised—cock sucking needs to be fed delicately. In essence, David Coverdale is a spoilt baby who cannot digest onions or broccoli, who needs “mineral volcanic water from Fiji” and Bulgarian wines.

For all that care, he still looks as any other grease-eating pig.

It is, however, with great satisfaction that I continued reading only to find out what Judas Priest prefer. Às opposed to their Glam counterparts, Halford and the band believe in chilli and tobasco and an unlimited supply of chocolate. If debauchery and indulgence are the archetypes of Metal, chocolate fits the latter category.

Once, an acquaintance described the habit of eating spice as “absolute pain. Spiciness,” he said, “is only a sensation of pain.” Well! The Priest dabbles on sheer brutality then!

Black Friday: Nepal

I will make this rather short because my keyboard has suffered a coronary and remains in a vegetative state, which compels me to use this:

Yes, a flexible keyboard. Took me an hour to write this fucking sentence

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In the land of metal, you often cross many a rarity, whether it is in terms of musical prowess, strange histories, odd lyrical themes or even a name. a few days ago, I was absently crawling through the internet when I came across the following band. Upon hearing them, I was pleasantly surprised—after all, we have too many generic thrash bands nowadays. But no, these guys have won their creditability. This is attested by the fact that Hansi Kürsch and Andre Matos have made guest appearances.

I mentioned that some bands are an oddity in terms of name, and this one is no exception. Indeed, the band is called Nepal, although they hail from Argentina. It appears these guys are well renowned in their homeland, as well as internationally; however, they disbanded in 2000, and perhaps they’ve receded into a dark corner of Metal memory. Either that or I am terribly misinformed.

Here are a couple songs from their last album, Manifiesto (1997); Hansi sings on the second one. Can you spot him?

It's Father's Day...

…and today we remember our forefathers, they who gave us the power and the might. Enjoy!

Black Friday: Classical edition

Yes, even Deep Purple were playing around with classical elements.

To establish a sense of routine here in Metal Jotunn--and to "celebrate" our change into Blogspot--I have decided to introduce a feature called "Black Friday." In a flash, Black Friday will be a column where I introduce a song, a band, or something that I find interesting so you can look at it in finer detail over the weekend. What I have in mind is a weekly outlet for bands that have accomplished something I think is worthy of notice, to thematically join a series of bands or songs, or to simply direct you to something that is Metal and will keep boredom at bay.

A Metal Opera. Whaddayouknow?

Today's theme will be something connected to a post I am currently working on, which I hope to publish in the coming weeks. The truth is I am really excited about it, because I tie together a fairly diverse set of ideas, from classical music, German folk tales, Norwegian folk tales and Megadeth's Symphony of Destruction to Western Literature, Slayer, Helloween, and other bands. Oh, and a lot of historical context -- I am a sucker for European history.

This mammoth post is going to take me a while to write, and I will continue dropping hints here and there until it's ready. Why don't you try to guess what I'm going to talk about in the meantime?

Anyhow, I've digressed far enough, and it's high time I return to the present. For the first edition of Black Friday, and in honor of what I mentioned above, today's theme will be classical music. That's right; classical*. It is very often said that Metal has many roots in classical music, that it is, with Jazz, the only modern genre with similar complexities and so on.

I have noticed that many Metalheads throw this idea around, imposing themselves as cultured creatures because of their fine musical taste. Yet how many of them are active listeners of anything that doesn't involve a mighty growl, or a Jon Shaffer-ish triplet? (Of course, Iced Earth does incorporate operatic vocals, and deals with themes that are of literary importance, but you get my point.) I can't claim to be the most sophisticated man to walk this Earth, but I do know that Metalheads can be outright stupid and uncultured, and I do place myself above this plethora of idiocy.

Of course, the relation between classical music and Metal is extensive and often obscure. I do not set forth with the attempt to document the history of these two genres; that's for someone else to do. Instead, I will present some pieces that I think successfully incorporate the rich tradition of Western classical music with contemporary Metal. Do keep in mind, Power Metal, with it's attempt to reach fantastic glory, is the de facto repository for classical music in Metal; furthermore, it's my favorite genre, so Power will abound in the following list.

Of course, Yngwie Malmsteen has often been called a pioneer of Neo-Classical Metal. And, although he might be a greasy, fat old man now, back in the day he had his worth. I think the biggest issue I have with Malmsteen--and some will agree, some will hate me--is that sometimes his music sounds repetitive at times. Indeed, I have heard many a times that his scale variations are very limited. Nonetheless, he could really put up a show.

Regarding the Megadeth video, I now some readers will sneer. After all, the classical music in Mustaine's piece is rather limited--to the first few seconds, in fact. What many of you might not be aware of is that the piece played isOffertorium, Domine Jesu Christe from Mozart's Requiem K. 626, which was left uncompleted because of the composer's death.

To end this post, I would like to remind you that Metal and Western Classical melodies have much in common, as well as a long and intricate relationship. What I show here is but a spec of dust, and all of which I could conjure from the top of my head. I wanted to add more videos, but I felt this was dragging long enough.

Valdes \m/

*Note: I use the term "classical" fairly liberally to include the Baroque, Classical and Romantic periods of music.

Stay hidden, it's better that way

The New Wave of British Heavy Metal (NWOBHM) was a heavy metal movement in the 70’s in Britain with a sharp rise of many brutal metal bands. The bands from this movement were/are significant and had a key part in moulding heavy metal and defining it to what it is today; in other words they’re responsible for today’s giants. However, like all good (metal) bands, you appreciate them solely for the music (and in some cases, also their dress style) and not for being important for another band back in the day. Appreciating a band only for their influence on another band is straight up retarded and not metal, yet it happens. Diamond Head, 30 years after [Metallica’s] Kill ‘em All, still receive endless love and appreciation for being the band that influenced Metallica. Sure, that’s what their career initially was about, right? ONLY to make sure thrash metal steps out of hell and sets loose in this virgin world? Tosser.

"We love you 'cause James told us to"

Now I know what you’re thinking – “They’re not heard of by the majority of Metalheads whatsoever; what’s better for them than having Metallica shouting out to all their fans that they were their spark?” What’s better? The members of Diamond Head died as virgins. I disagree with the band’s name in modern metal culture. Hell, I’d rather they remain an underground pride, be it they become flat broke losers who can’t make ends meet without a part time job in McDonalds, ‘cause they dropped out of school and their band never landed a decent record deal. At least everyone who’d ever listen to them would be a fan of what they wrote, be it as little as 100 listeners in their local tiny village. Their killer guitar riffs and Harris’ high pitched heavy metal voice would remain as their boldest slogan and biggest pride, as little as it may be. I care not that they breast-fed the new-born babies from the mid-80’s L.A. thrash scene.

Diamond Head can stand on their own feet; they don’t need Hetfield to give them a shout every now and then and spread his poseur infection in our (un)holy genre even more.

Cheers

Ricky

(Disclaimer: This article has no relevance to the Sonisphere Big 4 performances of “Am I Evil”.)

On encounters with new music

It's self evident that we've had a slow start; I would even go as far to say that we're still at the starting line, for three posts are virtually nothing. We have not been diligent nor attentive,  and as of now Metal Jotunn remains among the plethora of half-dead Metal blogs that, in truth, are of no interest. I strive to think that we're still in the stages of forming an identity for this particular blog, but I understand this cannot happen if we continue to remain silent. I will say, however, that until the two admins--that is, Ricky and myself--meet in a couple of weeks to discuss a few nuances, the posts will remain sporadic.

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This reminds me of Manowar. Epic!

One of the things that I love about Metal blogs--and the Internet in general--is that I get to hear new bands almost everyday. A year ago, my music library had about one-half of the bands that I know prize; a year ago, I was nothing but a Power Metal fan, and hardly anything more. Yet now, because of blogs such as That's Not Metal, Steff Metal, No Clean Singing, and others (which are on the blog roll to the right) I have delved into the realm of Thrash Metal, and I'm making my way through the wasted land of Death Metal. Names such as Nightrage, Demonic Resurrection, Ana Kefr , Hemoptsysis…  have become common place. (No more Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber for me!)

The issue with this approach, of course, is that sometimes you come across generic bullshit or pretentious idiocy. Or perhaps you find a download website, and excitedly fill your iPod with a ton of new bands, ready to blast your ears… and you are presented with a discordant sound that appears to be created by playing random notes and having tempo shifts for the mere sake of being "artsy" (DtS, it seems, have a "strong ambition and unparalleled creativity, [and] strive to spread new sounds, and open minds throughout the world." Go figure.):

To save you from these moments of undeniable terror, to keep you from the darkest side of human creativity--I will refrain from calling this music-- I will install a new feature for the blog. At least once a week I will post a song or two by a Metal band who, in my unquestionable opinion, is worthy of the "Metal" label, or is at least worthy of attention.

For the first installment of this, I present to you a German band whose lyrical theme is in accordance The Jotunn. Rebellion was formed in 2001 by Uwe Lulis and Tomi Gottlitch, both of whom left the band Grave Digger to begin their new project. Shakespeare's Macbeth -- A Tragedy in Steel was released a year after their formation, and as the title suggests, the concept album deals with the story of  Macbeth--the album even has passages recited from the play.

According to Wikipedia, "The second album, [Born a Rebel (2003)], involved more standard heavy-metal lyrics – about motorcycles, metal, war, etc. – and the music was somewhat rougher."

In 2005 Rebellion released their third album, Sagas of Iceland, which was intended to be the first volume of a trilogy dealing with Viking lore and Norse mythology. The series was aptly called The History of the Vikings, which is comprised by the aforementioned album, Miklagard (2007) and the last release of the band, Arise: From Ginnungagap to Ragnarök (2009).

This is what Steff Metal, in a post for Lip Service, said of Rebellion:

I listen to this album non-stop while working on my novels. You know how you buy an album on the strength of one of two songs, but then the rest of the album turns out to be weak? No so with Arise – every song blisters with dark riffs, soaring vocals and Viking anger. It’s a brilliant power metal record, with deep vocals that would appeal even to non-power metal fans. I’m gutted to hear that three of the founding members, including guitarist Uwe Lulis, left the band, but at least they were able to conclude their Viking trilogy with this amazing album.

And here are two songs from The History of the Vikings:

"I'm getting too old for this shit!"

"The last days before the Gods disappear"

As you all know, Judas Priest announced their farewell tour a few months ago. They knew their time had come. Ever since, every Metalhead has been anxiously checking the tour dates, to be there when the Priest come to his or her city, for there is no way we're going to miss our last chance to see the Metal Gods on stage again.

There is not a single Metalhead who cannot recognize Halford's voice, or a glorious Downing-Tipton riff. What's more, the Priest introduced us to leather! If that weren't enough, Judas Priest has been rocking the world for over 40 years and has left future generations with a magnificent legacy. They are not one of those bands that begin with a bang and fade away--think Metallica. They have not become idiotic and have sold themselves with lame fashion--think Ozzy and Justin Beiber. No! Like Dio, Judas Priest has transcended into the realm of all that is (un)holy; they have remained true to what is Metal and have set a golden standard for all to follow.

How can I possibly explain the influence that Judas Priest has had on us Metalheads? When the press release of their Epitaph tour was up, we were given no explanation. Yet, what can we say? After so many years, they, only they, have the right to act as they want.

"You want to be remembered like this, right? Right?!"

Which is not to say, however, that KK Downing can do stupid shit like he did yesterday. Alright, we get it. You have been rocking for over 40 years, you're 60 years old. You have challenged the rules of mortality. You're a God.

But you can't fucking retire two months before your final tour begins. What's more, you can't retire without giving us an appropriate reason. Yes, we know you're old. Ronnie James Dio died when he was 67 and had cancer. Yet he went rocking. He gave us his last breath. You are 60. You're healthy. You should still have, at least, another 7 years to go.

In the olden age, Vikings believed it was glorious to die in battle. The more brutal, savage and gory your death, the better. The highest honor went to those who were in the heat of the battle, and died with violence in their eyes. Their counterparts, everyone else, died in shame.

Will you die a legend, or will you go calmly into the night?

Vlades \m/

Blood of Heroes

We Metalheads know exactly what to look forward to when we buy tickets for gigs. There is always that constant, exhilarating thought about it, the excitement in your stomach, and that “time’s going fucking slow” feeling as that one night approaches.

You wake up on the day of the gig, and your excitement evolves into a deadly thirst, as the sun slowly rolls over above you, finally, settling west, blackening the sky in its trail. It is time. Tonight, all hell breaks loose; Metal Gods will take the stage and unleash a wave of aggression and fury through the crowd.

"40,000 of them!"

When attending a Metal concert, there are several “options” to how you can appreciate the concert. Basically, it is as follows: In the pit, or out of the pit. Both options are good in different ways. Being out of the pit, you WATCH the music – you experience it. You can focus and set your eyes on that long-haired scruffy dirtbag walk to the front of the stage and rip out a 100 notes a second solo that makes the average human’s ears bleed. Who doesn’t love that? You feel the music’s purity flow through you, from head to toe – you feel Metal.

The other way to appreciate the concert of course is to let the music get the best of you – fire up and start moshing. What better than a furious, deadly, endless pit while bursting your ears to your favourite heavy metal tune? Should you hit the floor, before you know it a hundred arms will grab and pull you up. Then, once you’re wrecked, wash all the pain and fatigue away with shitty cheap beer and join the ball again. It’s a cycle, it’s a metal concert - you never stop loving it!

Though we may go to hundreds of gigs, one might think that they become homogenous and boring. However, Metal is like an unholy fountain we drink from throughout our lives; it fills, fulfils, and completes us. Due to the vast number of gigs we attend, music progresses in us through them, making our love for Metal grow more and more. With the exception of a Sonata Arctica gig I attended in late 2009, shortly after the release of Days of Greys, I can safely say that after metal concerts, I never felt mediocre contentment of attending. It’s always the opposite; I feel pure, I feel powerful - I feel Metal.

Ricky

The Formation of Damnation

Hail, Metal brothers!

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="Dave Mustaine shredding!"][/caption]

All of us know what it is to tread everyday within the land of Metal. Every waking hour is characterized by a blastbeat and a shredding guitar; in the hours of sleep we soar high with the energy of our sacred music, for it is nothing short of sacred. We drink, we party, we mosh and we can be spotted from a mile away. Heathens think of us no less than what we think of them: a bunch of brain-dead dumbshits, who, for one reason or the other, have an absolute reverence for cacophonic boredom.

Like Sam Dunn pointed out in Global Metal, we form a global tribe. We're kindred in our love for the power of Metal, and for our hate of everyone else. We know there is no purpose, no cause, in our lives but the advancement of Metal. All your dreams of power and glory are delusions. Why then, you may ask, do I even bother starting a blog, one out of hundreds, and even think I can achieve anything? Because I am fucking Metal, and I am superior to all of you skeptics.

When idiots see devastation, what do they do? They cower under the fake umbrella of philanthropy, they pat themselves while thinking they've made a difference. They are blind with their own egotism. They pray God to give them strength and drown in their empty faith.

On the other hand, the true Metalhead heeds the calls of devastation; he looks at reality in the eye and fears not. Rather, he is empowered by his knowledge, for he sees what it really is.

Because we Metalheads are a people united under a common banner, and because we reject the blind idiocy of the world, we are bound to generate common idiosyncrasies. It is no surprise that we throw the horns at each other when we meet.

Inspired by magnificent bloggers such as Steff Metal and TNM, I decided to start Metal Jötunn, a place to document my Metal musings and revere the music that we love. However, I will admit I have tried this before, and failed miserably. The only reason this blog is different is a Metal brother that will be writing with me. For several years, he and I have often discussed many aspects of the Metal world. It was therefore easy to channel those discussions into a blog.

The bulk of these discussions are fairly specific: we have discourse on different Metal cultures and traditions, as well as Metalheads themselves.  That is why the very essence of Metal Jötunn will be to observe, with a subjective eye, the Metal world and how it's changing.

Stay Metal!  \m/

Vlades.