A juicy beef burger

There are many things to wonder about celebrities; what they do on a daily basis, what they like, what they don’t, how they work, why they do it. Often, particularly if said celebrity is a model or a visually striking human being, tabloids record their eating habits in minute detail. While talking about Metal, I never considered a gastronomic conversation to be very fruitful; after all, what to good Metalheads eat but meat, what do they drink but alcohol? (The exception is when there is absolutely no money, and every free meal comes as a gift from heaven).

The Bass Drop Deluxe a.k.a the 808Burger from Death Metal Baboon. It will take you "down for a week, shitting mighty solids."

Yet these details seem to remain in the Earthly realm of us lowly Metalheads (Though there are attempts to educate us in terms of Metal meals. Just look at Deamonstealer's Headbanger's Kitchen). After all, fame seems to create a picky personality. Indeed, great egos become demanding and particular. So as you rise through hall of fame, your taste will become more, say, delicate. Or sophisticated. Though I’d just call it vain, really. I would have thought that Metal Gods would be, as opposed to TV celebrities, fairly normal on their eating habits. Don’t we always see, in videos, our good friends drinking copious amounts of beer? And I remember seeing, somewhere, an image of Mustaine (or some other famous Metalhead) in a KFC.

Now we know why it happens.

But alas, I was deceived. In a Blabbermouth article, the guys Whitesnake have been revealed in their real personas; delicate princesses with a stomach made of silk. I really shouldn’t be surprised—cock sucking needs to be fed delicately. In essence, David Coverdale is a spoilt baby who cannot digest onions or broccoli, who needs “mineral volcanic water from Fiji” and Bulgarian wines.

For all that care, he still looks as any other grease-eating pig.

It is, however, with great satisfaction that I continued reading only to find out what Judas Priest prefer. Às opposed to their Glam counterparts, Halford and the band believe in chilli and tobasco and an unlimited supply of chocolate. If debauchery and indulgence are the archetypes of Metal, chocolate fits the latter category.

Once, an acquaintance described the habit of eating spice as “absolute pain. Spiciness,” he said, “is only a sensation of pain.” Well! The Priest dabbles on sheer brutality then!

It's Father's Day...

…and today we remember our forefathers, they who gave us the power and the might. Enjoy!

"I'm getting too old for this shit!"

"The last days before the Gods disappear"

As you all know, Judas Priest announced their farewell tour a few months ago. They knew their time had come. Ever since, every Metalhead has been anxiously checking the tour dates, to be there when the Priest come to his or her city, for there is no way we're going to miss our last chance to see the Metal Gods on stage again.

There is not a single Metalhead who cannot recognize Halford's voice, or a glorious Downing-Tipton riff. What's more, the Priest introduced us to leather! If that weren't enough, Judas Priest has been rocking the world for over 40 years and has left future generations with a magnificent legacy. They are not one of those bands that begin with a bang and fade away--think Metallica. They have not become idiotic and have sold themselves with lame fashion--think Ozzy and Justin Beiber. No! Like Dio, Judas Priest has transcended into the realm of all that is (un)holy; they have remained true to what is Metal and have set a golden standard for all to follow.

How can I possibly explain the influence that Judas Priest has had on us Metalheads? When the press release of their Epitaph tour was up, we were given no explanation. Yet, what can we say? After so many years, they, only they, have the right to act as they want.

"You want to be remembered like this, right? Right?!"

Which is not to say, however, that KK Downing can do stupid shit like he did yesterday. Alright, we get it. You have been rocking for over 40 years, you're 60 years old. You have challenged the rules of mortality. You're a God.

But you can't fucking retire two months before your final tour begins. What's more, you can't retire without giving us an appropriate reason. Yes, we know you're old. Ronnie James Dio died when he was 67 and had cancer. Yet he went rocking. He gave us his last breath. You are 60. You're healthy. You should still have, at least, another 7 years to go.

In the olden age, Vikings believed it was glorious to die in battle. The more brutal, savage and gory your death, the better. The highest honor went to those who were in the heat of the battle, and died with violence in their eyes. Their counterparts, everyone else, died in shame.

Will you die a legend, or will you go calmly into the night?

Vlades \m/