A juicy beef burger

There are many things to wonder about celebrities; what they do on a daily basis, what they like, what they don’t, how they work, why they do it. Often, particularly if said celebrity is a model or a visually striking human being, tabloids record their eating habits in minute detail. While talking about Metal, I never considered a gastronomic conversation to be very fruitful; after all, what to good Metalheads eat but meat, what do they drink but alcohol? (The exception is when there is absolutely no money, and every free meal comes as a gift from heaven).

The Bass Drop Deluxe a.k.a the 808Burger from Death Metal Baboon. It will take you "down for a week, shitting mighty solids."

Yet these details seem to remain in the Earthly realm of us lowly Metalheads (Though there are attempts to educate us in terms of Metal meals. Just look at Deamonstealer's Headbanger's Kitchen). After all, fame seems to create a picky personality. Indeed, great egos become demanding and particular. So as you rise through hall of fame, your taste will become more, say, delicate. Or sophisticated. Though I’d just call it vain, really. I would have thought that Metal Gods would be, as opposed to TV celebrities, fairly normal on their eating habits. Don’t we always see, in videos, our good friends drinking copious amounts of beer? And I remember seeing, somewhere, an image of Mustaine (or some other famous Metalhead) in a KFC.

Now we know why it happens.

But alas, I was deceived. In a Blabbermouth article, the guys Whitesnake have been revealed in their real personas; delicate princesses with a stomach made of silk. I really shouldn’t be surprised—cock sucking needs to be fed delicately. In essence, David Coverdale is a spoilt baby who cannot digest onions or broccoli, who needs “mineral volcanic water from Fiji” and Bulgarian wines.

For all that care, he still looks as any other grease-eating pig.

It is, however, with great satisfaction that I continued reading only to find out what Judas Priest prefer. Às opposed to their Glam counterparts, Halford and the band believe in chilli and tobasco and an unlimited supply of chocolate. If debauchery and indulgence are the archetypes of Metal, chocolate fits the latter category.

Once, an acquaintance described the habit of eating spice as “absolute pain. Spiciness,” he said, “is only a sensation of pain.” Well! The Priest dabbles on sheer brutality then!

On encounters with new music

It's self evident that we've had a slow start; I would even go as far to say that we're still at the starting line, for three posts are virtually nothing. We have not been diligent nor attentive,  and as of now Metal Jotunn remains among the plethora of half-dead Metal blogs that, in truth, are of no interest. I strive to think that we're still in the stages of forming an identity for this particular blog, but I understand this cannot happen if we continue to remain silent. I will say, however, that until the two admins--that is, Ricky and myself--meet in a couple of weeks to discuss a few nuances, the posts will remain sporadic.

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This reminds me of Manowar. Epic!

One of the things that I love about Metal blogs--and the Internet in general--is that I get to hear new bands almost everyday. A year ago, my music library had about one-half of the bands that I know prize; a year ago, I was nothing but a Power Metal fan, and hardly anything more. Yet now, because of blogs such as That's Not Metal, Steff Metal, No Clean Singing, and others (which are on the blog roll to the right) I have delved into the realm of Thrash Metal, and I'm making my way through the wasted land of Death Metal. Names such as Nightrage, Demonic Resurrection, Ana Kefr , Hemoptsysis…  have become common place. (No more Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber for me!)

The issue with this approach, of course, is that sometimes you come across generic bullshit or pretentious idiocy. Or perhaps you find a download website, and excitedly fill your iPod with a ton of new bands, ready to blast your ears… and you are presented with a discordant sound that appears to be created by playing random notes and having tempo shifts for the mere sake of being "artsy" (DtS, it seems, have a "strong ambition and unparalleled creativity, [and] strive to spread new sounds, and open minds throughout the world." Go figure.):

To save you from these moments of undeniable terror, to keep you from the darkest side of human creativity--I will refrain from calling this music-- I will install a new feature for the blog. At least once a week I will post a song or two by a Metal band who, in my unquestionable opinion, is worthy of the "Metal" label, or is at least worthy of attention.

For the first installment of this, I present to you a German band whose lyrical theme is in accordance The Jotunn. Rebellion was formed in 2001 by Uwe Lulis and Tomi Gottlitch, both of whom left the band Grave Digger to begin their new project. Shakespeare's Macbeth -- A Tragedy in Steel was released a year after their formation, and as the title suggests, the concept album deals with the story of  Macbeth--the album even has passages recited from the play.

According to Wikipedia, "The second album, [Born a Rebel (2003)], involved more standard heavy-metal lyrics – about motorcycles, metal, war, etc. – and the music was somewhat rougher."

In 2005 Rebellion released their third album, Sagas of Iceland, which was intended to be the first volume of a trilogy dealing with Viking lore and Norse mythology. The series was aptly called The History of the Vikings, which is comprised by the aforementioned album, Miklagard (2007) and the last release of the band, Arise: From Ginnungagap to Ragnarök (2009).

This is what Steff Metal, in a post for Lip Service, said of Rebellion:

I listen to this album non-stop while working on my novels. You know how you buy an album on the strength of one of two songs, but then the rest of the album turns out to be weak? No so with Arise – every song blisters with dark riffs, soaring vocals and Viking anger. It’s a brilliant power metal record, with deep vocals that would appeal even to non-power metal fans. I’m gutted to hear that three of the founding members, including guitarist Uwe Lulis, left the band, but at least they were able to conclude their Viking trilogy with this amazing album.

And here are two songs from The History of the Vikings:

The Formation of Damnation

Hail, Metal brothers!

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="Dave Mustaine shredding!"][/caption]

All of us know what it is to tread everyday within the land of Metal. Every waking hour is characterized by a blastbeat and a shredding guitar; in the hours of sleep we soar high with the energy of our sacred music, for it is nothing short of sacred. We drink, we party, we mosh and we can be spotted from a mile away. Heathens think of us no less than what we think of them: a bunch of brain-dead dumbshits, who, for one reason or the other, have an absolute reverence for cacophonic boredom.

Like Sam Dunn pointed out in Global Metal, we form a global tribe. We're kindred in our love for the power of Metal, and for our hate of everyone else. We know there is no purpose, no cause, in our lives but the advancement of Metal. All your dreams of power and glory are delusions. Why then, you may ask, do I even bother starting a blog, one out of hundreds, and even think I can achieve anything? Because I am fucking Metal, and I am superior to all of you skeptics.

When idiots see devastation, what do they do? They cower under the fake umbrella of philanthropy, they pat themselves while thinking they've made a difference. They are blind with their own egotism. They pray God to give them strength and drown in their empty faith.

On the other hand, the true Metalhead heeds the calls of devastation; he looks at reality in the eye and fears not. Rather, he is empowered by his knowledge, for he sees what it really is.

Because we Metalheads are a people united under a common banner, and because we reject the blind idiocy of the world, we are bound to generate common idiosyncrasies. It is no surprise that we throw the horns at each other when we meet.

Inspired by magnificent bloggers such as Steff Metal and TNM, I decided to start Metal Jötunn, a place to document my Metal musings and revere the music that we love. However, I will admit I have tried this before, and failed miserably. The only reason this blog is different is a Metal brother that will be writing with me. For several years, he and I have often discussed many aspects of the Metal world. It was therefore easy to channel those discussions into a blog.

The bulk of these discussions are fairly specific: we have discourse on different Metal cultures and traditions, as well as Metalheads themselves.  That is why the very essence of Metal Jötunn will be to observe, with a subjective eye, the Metal world and how it's changing.

Stay Metal!  \m/

Vlades.